Writing & Thoughts

will update later...

2 January 2025... We, the members of the STRUCTURAL engineering Group, gathered in the Structural Engineering Seminar Room. Why? Because it was our first meeting to discuss how to proceed with the preparation for the conference. Of course, it is an international event, so we needed to start preparing as early as possible, especially since this was the first time IMPLAST was being organized by IIT Roorkee. As a PhD student, it was my first time serving as a coordinator, and it was also my first time presenting my research work. People discussed a lot during the meeting... like we can do this... that... and then came the entry of the main character... the "Real Juice"... which was served to us... and then the discussions continued.

1 month left... The Conference. We were now working at full capacity. The work was allotted to everyone according to their interests... and then came the tidiest task... preparing the conference schedule. Basically, we had to arrange the research presentations according to their aligned research areas. Around 300 presentations had to be segregated based on their respective fields.

Meanwhile, let me introduce our conference leader... Dr. AJAY SARAN... truly a gem of a personality. He is the one who holds the conference together... and he also keeps all of us PhD students together as well. He summoned us (Ayush Tiwari Sir, Tarun Singh, and me) for scheduling work. We went into the dedicated conference room... where several other people were already working on the schedule... like my friends Tajram, Tajas, and Samridhi. We started working on it, and releasing the final schedule was not an easy task... there were lots of ifs and buts, followed by endless formatting issues... and no presentation slot could be repeated. Then Ayush Sir took the lead and even brought his 32-inch screen from his hostel room to the lab... (uhhh, which honestly motivated us too, though we did not have a screen at that time)... so that he could dedicate all his time to the conference. At the same time, we truly appreciated his effort.

Personally, I consider this (Schedule) to be the most difficult task... at least mentally. But there were also other major responsibilities such as travelling and accommodation... which were handled by my seniors, Sandeep Sir and Shaymal Sir. This was also a challenging task... handling delegates from the moment they landed until they reached their guest rooms was another level of responsibility. Here, Sandeep Sir took the lead and, surprisingly, we discovered that he was an expert at managing all of this. I, along with many others, truly believe he deserves a special token of appreciation... something like a "To Whom It May Concern" recognition. At the same time, many others did a great job. Handling research work (casting) in the lab, along with IMPLAST responsibilities, was another difficult challenge.

12 October 2025. Doomsday — the conference had begun. Delegates had arrived, while some were still on their way. We were managing all the delegates and students. My presentation was also scheduled for the evening session. The coincidence was that my supervisor, Prof. Sandipan Paul, and Prof Sandra Klinge were the chair and co-chair of the session in which I was presenting my research work. It was my first presentation before the wider academic world, where my research could be praised, criticized, and, most importantly, encouraged. There were other professors in my session presenting their work as well, such as Prof. Sabyasachi Chatterjee, Prof. Sanhita Das, and Prof. Srikanth K. It was an incredible feeling to present my work alongside them. Of course, they are among the best, but the feeling you get when you are standing with them is on another level.

The valedictory function began with the presence of the chief guests, Prof. Drik Mohr and Prof. Magnus Langseth, who honoured us with tokens of appreciation for organizing this conference. We felt both happy and emotional as the conference came to an end. During this period, we had a lot of fun while also gaining valuable learning experiences. Of course, there was some chaos in between all of this, but we, the people of the STRUCTURAL engineering Group, handled it beautifully.

And here's the great news:

ANNOUNCEMENT: We are now hosting the "International Congress on Computational Mechanics and Simulation (ICCMS)" conference in December 2027. SEE YOU THERE.

There is a strange loneliness that comes with seeing the world too deeply. People often think knowledge is power — as Petyr Baelish said in Game of Thrones, “Knowledge is power. People believe that the more you understand life, emotions, systems, and reality, the better your life becomes. But sometimes, knowledge feels less like a gift and more like a burden... a silent burden.

I am not talking only about academic knowledge, degrees, marks, or research papers.I am talking about a deeper kind of awareness — the habit of rational thinking, observing patterns, questioning behavior, and constantly trying to understand why people do what they do and honestly, that kind of thinking changes the way you experience the world. When your mind constantly searches for meaning, logic, and perspective, it becomes difficult to live inside shallow conversations, blind judgments, or narrow-minded environments. You start noticing contradictions everywhere. You notice how people react emotionally before thinking logically. How they judge quickly without understanding context. How many opinions are built not on truth, but on insecurity, ego, or social conditioning.

And the hardest part?

You are expected to pretend that you do not see it. Most people prefer comfort over truth. Simplicity over complexity. Group thinking over independent thinking. They do not want to question their beliefs because questioning requires discomfort. It requires mental effort. It requires admitting that maybe they are wrong. But a rational mind cannot easily ignore these things.

It keeps analyzing. It keeps observing. It keeps asking... WHY?

Sometimes this creates distance between you and other people — not because you think you are superior, but because your way of processing reality becomes different. You may see multiple sides of an argument while others only see one. You may try to understand before judging while others react instantly. You may search for truth while others search for validation. And slowly, you begin to feel disconnected.

There is also another painful aspect of this curse... overthinking reality destroys certain illusions that make life emotionally easier. You begin understanding human behavior too well. You recognize manipulation, hypocrisy, emotional immaturity, fake kindness, social masks, and hidden motives.

Things that once looked simple no longer feel simple. Even happiness becomes complicated sometimes. Because awareness increases sensitivity. Sometimes even people are not actually listening... they are only waiting to respond.

Many relationships survive not because of understanding, but because of convenience. Many people fear intelligence not because intelligence is harmful, but because it challenges their comfort, and yet despite all this, rational thinking should not turn into arrogance. That is where many intellectually aware people fail. Understanding more does not make someone more valuable as a human being. It simply means they carry a different perspective.

Every person is shaped by different experiences, environments, fears, and limitations. Narrow-minded people are not always evil. Many are simply products of limited exposure and inherited thinking. The real challenge is learning how to stay thoughtful without becoming emotionally cold.

How to remain rational without losing compassion.

How to understand human weakness without hating humanity itself.

Because the truth is that the world is not divided into intelligent and unintelligent people. It is divided into those willing to think deeply and those afraid to and maybe that is the real curse of knowledge:

Once your mind learns to see beyond the membrane, you can never return to simply seeing the world again.